BIRTHDAY
Birthdays are a funny thing. It takes just long enough for *that* phrase to get out there for you to realize... "Hey, was that a question, a command, or a statement?"
Am I *asking* you if you've had a happy birthday thus far? Has this day actually been *the* happiest? Ever? Better damn well hope so when you say it, otherwise you could be in for shit that you just don't want to deal with. "No, this hasn't been a happy birthday, thanks for reminding me, thereby making it that much worse!" Wow, that would suck some really big balls.
Am I *commanding* you to have a happy birthday? "I swear to Jesus, if this day doesn't end up being the best god damn day of your life, I'm going to fucking kill you!!" Now that's just rude to say on someone's day of birth, because hey, it's their day, let *them* call the shots.
Am I *commenting* on your birthday? "I don't really care how your day has been, but I'm gonna call it a happy one whether you like it or not. Bitch." What has happend thus far in your day is of no concern to me. In my mind, it's been the greatest day of your life, and that's about all I'm gonna say about that.
Whether it's a question, a command, or a statement... god damnit, it's your day and you better freaking enjoy it... oh, wait. I guess that would make it a command, wouldn't it? Oh well, Dimitri Apostol, Happy Birthday.
Back to the future!