ODE TO THE GREAT BARRINGTON POLICE
What a wild and crazy trip this has been. Here I am waiting for my best friend who I've known for 6 years to come out of lockdown with the bailer who's on his way from Greenfield. Sometimes people are dumb. Right now is one of those times when I regret it. Being dumb, that is. You'd think shoplifting was a crime or something. Damn pigs; always on my ass, trying to shove their bureaucratic monster of a cock up my fragile virgin rectum.
It's starting to get annoying.
The one across from me is biding his time making origami. I'm here remembering history. The third of us is in fucking prison. This is our story; a tribute to the Great Barrington Fucking Pigs.
We came to Great Barrington with reckless abandon, ready to make a go of it. No worries to be had, just walking around enjoying the change of atmosphere. What a great day it was, a great day to be arrested for being dumb mother fuckers.
When low on cash, be sure to steal... at least, that's how I always considered it. That god damned crystal shop. I'd been there a million times and never saw the sensors. Not until I was through them and heard the beeping.
"Shit. Fuck. Damn. Child."
"That wasn't good at all."
He had a bag with two records and a CD in it from a music store down the road. It seemed big enough to hold tow more books... too bad their impenetrable fortress of security has the technological prowess to defeat the cunning of the paper bag protecting the goods.
Rock smashes scissor.
Paper covers rock.
Security sensors put paper to shame.
The police officer was surprisingly gentle. He was kind enough to give us a ride to your car after some questioning in the middle of the road, the perfect way to end an embarrassing production on a busy street. Once at the car, the officer explained to us how being arrested was the best possible way to handle things. Letting us go is never a fucking option. So then, at that very moment, our friend was gone, out of our lives, taken away in the back of a god damned soulless pig wagon. Damn Commies. The next few hours were hard for us, and must've been unimaginable for him. The two of us dropped all things incriminating with a friend and got our asses back to the unholy Commonwealth of Massachusetts. The wait's been long, and we're waiting still. The story's not over. I haven't even had the gunfight with the Po-Po yet.
Bastards.
Be glad you weren't arrested too and get on BACK